What now?

"Bit by intelligible bit, a vocation lets us express our healthiest instincts, our noblest desires... In small things and in large, we can attend to the haunting inner summons of our soul." - Dick Ryan


It will be six years ago this June since I both met Nate and decided that living the comfortable life was not for me.  Not sure that those two things actually go hand in hand, but I do know that I have this feeling, this overwhelming desire to never be too comfortable.  I mean this in terms of never settling, in always living somewhere that forces me to live outside of my comfort zone.  I had this epiphany that summer, this realization that my life was to be spent reaching the unreachable and going to places that many people would never dare travel.  I can't explain why I have this feeling, where it comes from, or how I am even going to go about living this realization, I just know it's there and I know that that is the life I need to live.  Which brings me to the question, what now?  Nate and I are both graduating this summer making it a seemingly perfect time to pack our bags and go.  But where to?  How do we know that where we are going is the right place to go?  Where do we receive that confirmation?

I have been reading Home Tonight by Henri Nouwen.  He says, "To live authentically each of us must be aware of our 'within.'  We need to become conscious of feeling content, safe, and in the right place, and of feeling lonely, disillusioned, or mildly depressed.  In front of turmoil, what do we do? Wise teachers tell us to be very attentive at these moments, to be open to 'signs', feelings, comments, a line in a book, unexpected meetings or events that may move us to consider new directions, to refind balance, and to remain fully alive. Spiritual signs usually have four characteristics:  They are simple not complicated, persistent, seemingly impossible, and always about others as well as ourselves."

Now this may sound crazy, and believe it me it feels even crazier, but in our journey of trying to figure out what now, one resounding and persistent place has been constantly finding its way into our lives.

So, Nate and I randomly and at the last minute got invited to a 'baby party', better known as Rosca de Reyes (Three Kings Day, a celebration on January 6 that remembers the arrival of the three kings to the birth of Christ, where you share a pastry in which there are plastic babies hidden in the bread and whoever gets a baby has to prepare a meal for everyone else on Dia de la Candelaria).  My friend Dr. Tran is at this party and we got to talking about school and what I was planning to do for my internship.  I, in total desperation, said, "I have no idea."  And she says, "Why not go to Peru? I have a friend, actually my mentor, who does TB research there and he would love for you to come and help!"

Fast forward to the past month.

I had not heard back from Bob (the TB research guy in Peru) and was starting to freak out.  I wanted to know if, 1) I could come to Peru for 6 weeks, and 2) Can Nate come to Peru with me?  Just when I had given up and started looking for another internship opportunity, I get a rely from Bob.  Not only can we both come to Peru, but he has free housing for us the entire time we are there!

After that, the confirmation we were looking for just started flowing.  In the next few days, a lady got transferred into Nate's office at work, she was only going to be there for a few weeks before leaving the company, but Nate started talking to her, and guess where she was from? Peru, of course. And it wasn't more than a week later when Nate and I turned on the TV and started watching An Idiot Abroad (inspiring, right?).  But guess where Karl was going that week?  Yep, Peru.  Coincidence?  Perhaps.  But get this: we hadn't gone through our mail in probably 3 weeks, so we finally decided that we should probably make sure that there wasn't anything too important in the massive pile.  We find a National Geographic magazine with none other than Peru on the cover.  And yet, there is more!  My friend Ana (a NP from Peru of course) came up to me yesterday and said, "I hear you are going to Peru.  Let me give you my cousin's contact information so you have someone to call in case of an emergency and she can show you around the hospitals in Lima."  So yeah, maybe I am reading too much into this, but I think we are suppose to go to Peru.  Its simple not complicated, persistent, seemingly impossible, and is about others and ourselves. 

I am not sure this is where we will end up after graduation, but I am confident that it is exactly where we are suppose to be this summer.